Boundaries, Body Awareness & Healing: How To Reclaim Your Power in Relationships
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Have You Ever Experienced This?
You meet someone new. There’s great chemistry. Conversations flow. Maybe it even feels exciting, different, hopeful. But then something deep inside you starts whispering.
You feel a sharp pain in your chest when they make a joke at your expense, but you force a smile to keep things light.
A heavy pressure settles over your body when they casually dismiss something important to you, but you swallow the discomfort.
Your throat tightens when they constantly steer conversations back to themselves, leaving you feeling unheard and small.
You try to ignore it, rationalize it, push it aside. But your body isn’t just reacting—it’s warning you.
I know this feeling well.
Recognizing the Red Flags in My Body Before My Mind Could
I recently entered a romantic connection that, at first, felt exciting. There was deep conversation, a sense of playfulness, and a feeling of connection. But as things progressed, I started noticing something unsettling—my body was reacting before my mind could make sense of what was happening.
My muscles tightened whenever I felt pressured into intimacy I wasn’t ready for.
My breathing became shallow when my boundaries were ignored.
I woke up exhausted after spending time with him, no matter how much I rested.
My nervous system felt like it was in a constant state of tension.
I told myself, maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe I just need to communicate better. But the truth was, my body was screaming no even when my voice struggled to say it.
Old Wounds, Familiar Patterns
This relationship unearthed something I hadn’t fully processed—the ways my early childhood trauma and sexual abuse shaped my ability to set and uphold boundaries.
As a child, I learned to survive by making myself small. I became someone who monitored the emotions of others, who soothed, who accommodated, who stayed silent when I was uncomfortable. It was what I had to do to protect myself.
And here I was, decades later, feeling that same freeze response in my body.
When I expressed that I wasn’t ready for phyiscal intimacy, my boundary was dismissed. I felt pressured, frozen, and afraid—like the little girl in me who had once been powerless. And in that moment, my body did what it had been conditioned to do: appease, comply, survive.
Afterward, I felt deep confusion. Why did I ignore my intuition and allow my boundaries to be violated? The shame was overwhelming. But then I realized something that changed everything:
My body responded the way it did because it was trying to keep me safe.
The Intersection of Trauma & MS Symptoms
For many of us, especially those who have experienced childhood trauma, boundary-setting isn’t just about saying no. It’s about reprogramming the ways we learned to survive.
If you were raised to accommodate, to smooth things over, to take care of others before yourself—then standing firm in your needs can feel unnatural, even unsafe.
And when you add MS into the mix, the cost of ignoring these signals becomes even greater. Stress and emotional distress can exacerbate symptoms—triggering fatigue, pain, stiffness, and flare-ups.
In many ways, our bodies tell us when something is misaligned, when a relationship is draining instead of nourishing, when we need to pay attention.
I finally did.
Reclaiming My Power: Boundaries as a Form of Self-Healing
I stopped blaming myself and started seeing my body as an ally, not an enemy. Instead of feeling shame for how I responded, I gave myself grace. I reminded myself:
My boundaries are valid, even if someone else doesn’t respect them.
My body knows what safety feels like—I just need to trust it.
I am allowed to say no, to walk away, to choose myself.
I ended the relationship. And while the emotions—fear, anger, grief—are still very raw, I have the tools to hold them with compassion, rather than bury them.
For Anyone Who Needs to Hear This Today
If you are feeling drained instead of energized in a relationship, if you find yourself constantly managing someone else’s emotions while silencing your own, if you feel like you’re ignoring that quiet knowing inside of you—this message is for you.
You do not have to explain yourself.
You do not have to make excuses.
You do not have to endure discomfort to prove your worth.
You deserve love that feels safe. You deserve relationships that honor your boundaries. You deserve to feel respected, heard, and valued.
And the first step toward that kind of love starts with you.
Your healing begins when you choose yourself.
Boundary-setting is an act of self-love. Listening to your body is an act of self-trust. Walking away from what does not serve you is an act of power.
I’m still on this journey, still learning, still unlearning. But what I know for sure is this: the more I listen to my body, the more I heal.
And you can too.
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